Lab Hazard Rating System

We've been notified by the department of safety of a new Lab Hazard Rating System. Our lab rates as shown here.

High Rate of Turnover in Baserga Lab

A catalyst, which remains elusive, is predicted to have caused a significantly higher rate of turnover than usual in the Baserga Lab. While the lab is experiencing a depletion of Kara, Sander, and Chewie, their absence is being suppressed by an upregulation of Kat and Bennett, as well as a temporary increase of Indira. Additionally, we have observed an increase of Susan in the lab, which may or may not be associated with the decrease of Kara. Continuing work seeks to quantify the increase in the turnover number, kcat, as well as to investigate a proposed link of the kcat to Kat.

Meet the new Basergas!

Kara aims higher (at skyscrapers)

On the eve of her third wedding anniversary, Kara successfully defended her thesis, entitled "Human cloning: An ethically depraved exercise in elevated self-esteem." Her presentation demonstrated how she spent her first four years in the lab working to clone herself, so that she (and her clone) could get more work done. During her final year in the lab, she took advantage of this double efficiency to perform experiments in two labs at the same time.

"It was very helpful," Kara says, "to be able to send Kara-2 to New York for the elutriation experiments, while I stayed here and did some 35-S labeling." The lab agreed that Kara-2 helped Kara-1 complete an unprecedented amount of work, and asked to keep the clone. Unfortunately, Kara decided to take the clone with her to her post-doc position in New York. It seems Kara-2 has a penchant for 5th Avenue.

The Baserga lab will miss Kara-1, and hopes she'll come back to visit often.

The Mechanical Contrivium: Trivia About Susan

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Susan!

1. A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but Susan can not!
2. It takes a lobster approximately 7 years to grow to be Susan.
3. In Japan it is considered rude to talk with Susan in your mouth.
4. If you toss Susan 10000 times, she will not land heads 5000 times, but more like 4950, because her head weighs more and thus ends up on the bottom!
5. Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of Susan in a day.
6. If your ear itches, this means that someone is talking about Susan!
7. Susan can smell some things up to six miles away.
8. Susan is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives.
9. Banging your head against Susan uses 150 calories an hour.
10. There are more than two hundred different kinds of Susan!

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Happy hour 2006

We are pleased to announce that our happy hour was a huge success. The food was lovely, the beer was intoxicating, and the company was delicious. Thanks to our patented "Rock the Happy Hour" promotion technique, we had guests coming from the far corners of the medical school.

Notable appearances were made by the Glazer and DiMaio labs, the "cheap date" flies, and both new and old popes, who both agreed, "It was better than 'Cats'."

We need a theme!

On January 6, 2006, the Baserga lab will be hosting Genetics Happy Hour. With only a month before the event, it is time to choose a theme. Last year's theme was the 15 year anniversary of The Simpsons (flyer). Here are our choices for this year:

Three King's Day/Epiphany ... The 12th day of Christmas. We'd decorate with gold, frankenstein proteins, and mirth. Maybe advertise with three pictures of Sherm, "the three Weissmans".

Schoolhouse Rock premiere (1973) ... Knowledge is power...

Al Gore concedes the election (2001) ... Not quite a reason to celebrate, but interesting nonetheless.

Benjamin Franklin's birth (1706) ... American statesman and inventor

John Maynard Smith's birth (1920) ... English evolutionary biologist and genetecist

Place your votes now!

Helicases influence lab unwinding

With not just one, but two (TWO!) helicase papers accepted for publication this week, the lab took the opportunity to unwind a bit.

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Neal enjoys his share of the bubbly, while Sander does his best to ignore Neal's swig.

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Chewie had no bubbly, but nevertheless found his way to crapulent.

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The puppy looks down her very large nose at us all.

Fap7 Paper Accepted

After several months of waiting, each day checking the MCB author's website, only to read the words "in review" or "decision pending", and then spend the rest of the day speaking in mumbled gripes, we are proud to announce that Sander and Madhu's Fap7 paper has been accepted for publication.

The seventh Freaking annoying protein (Fap7) had been little studied before Sander got his hot little hands on it. Through a series of experiments utilizing biochemical, genetic, and cell biological techniques, he and Madhu have shown that this protein is, indeed, freaking annoying. However, Sander has now shown that it is not only freaking annoying, but also frequently annoying.

Initially, the reviewers' comments were not good. "But that's nothing new!" they spat. "It was named for its excessively annoying behavior in vivo and in vitro. To be suitable for publication in this fine journal, your paper must provide indisputable evidence that Fap7 has cause to act in an annoying manner." With a few carefully worded rebuttals and an extra experiment or two, Sander has successfully pled his case. It will be listed on our Publications page as soon as the webmaster gets around to it.

Autoantibodies and Autoantibodies

We are proud to announce that our masterpiece, our seminal work, our magnum opus, will be published by the end of October. This piece, entitled War and Peace: The Autoantibodies Version, is a comprehensive summary of, and verily defines the vast quantities of research done involving autoantibodies and autoimmune diseases.

As the most important chapter in the book Autoantibodies and Autoantibodies (left), War and Peace: The Autoantibodies Version, chapter 17, is available for a mere 199 Euros (~249.51 USD).

Note: this price is roughly (+/-1E) equal to the honorarium we have been promised--but have not yet received-- as compensation for this pastiche. However, our generous publishers have offered us a special author's discount, due to our ingenuity, of %30 off the cover price, with an additional %12 off if we order 10 or more copies, or %20 off of 50 or more copies.

Place your orders now.

Madhu ships out

Madhu recently got a job with CSI:Hyderabad, and so he's cashed in the funds in his Swiss bank account and left us. Luckily for us, he didn't sneak out under the cloak of night; he warned us of his impending departure, so we could celebrate --I mean, um, plan accordingly.

During Madhu's last week in lab, we had the traditional five days of celebration:

Day 1: Tawkindalab is the first day of celebration. This day is meant for reflection on the time spent in a particular place. The traveler is required to discuss his experiences and accomplishments in a formal presentation to his friends and family. This is usually accompanied by a small feast of donuts, muffins, bagels, and cream cheese. (Dunkin' Donuts has a special package-- just ask for the Tawkindalab box.)

Day 2: The second day, known as Freezayeesties, is the day of organization. The traveler groups the items he has collected or created during his stay and record their existence for posterity. Traditionally, this is done by taking a small sample of each, placing it in a small well-labeled tube, and placing it in cold storage.

Day 3: Taggasail is the most difficult day of celebration, because it requires the traveler to decide which of his belongings he will take on his journey, and which to leave. Instead of giving away the unwanted items, however, he sells them to friends, family, or perfect strangers who happen to be walking by. Not only does this relieve him of the burden of material objects, but it provides some travel money with which to buy postcards for the people he will soon leave behind.

Day 4: On Taekdabenchy, the traveler is required to remove the remainder of his personal belongings from the space he inhabited during his stay. This is terribly sad for his friends and family, who typically respond by first collecting the items he leaves behind (as a sort of keepsake or memento), and then placing their own items in the empty space.

Day 5: Eetalotafeud, the final day of celebration, is the day of feasting. Originally intended to prepare the traveler for the long journey ahead (during which there may not be enough food available to sustain the high amount of energy required in travel), Eetalotafeud consists of one continuous meal that lasts the entire day. In addition, the friends and family of the traveler must accompany him in the feasting, as a symbol of their desire to spiritually travel with him. Here we are early in the day of feasting. (You can tell because we aren't yet bloated from the huge amounts of food.)




Madhu added his own contribution to the traditional week of celebration, which he called Maika-dapee-ayekrai. Drawing on the traditional Guru Purnima festival, he told us how the parents and teacher are respected and revered as deities, because they remove one's ignorance. It says, "Gurubrahma Guruvishnu Gururdevo Maheshwaraha”: The guru is Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh (Shiva). Also, "Matru Devo Bhava, Pitru Devo Bhava, Acharya Devo Bhava, Atithi Devo Bhava": Revere your mother, father, preceptor and guest as God. He also cited the Hindu axiom that says, "A river cannot be clean if the source is polluted." Like a river, the quality of the lab depends on the quality of our mentor, and because Susan is happy, the rest of the lab is happy. And clean.

The Cast

Chewie has bred a bonsai bonanza. So far he has three in his brood: Eenie, Meenie, and Miney. (We can only assume that Chewie is Moe.) He's very proud of them, so don't laugh.





Click on the above photo for individual photos of each.

Vote for your favorite bonzai buddy (leave a comment)! It's like American Idol, only the contestants can't sing or dance! And they're miniature trees.

Kamikaze flies

Upon opening the autoclave today, Franziska found a horsefly floating in her media.

"Is it alive?" Chewie suggests we forget about ribosome biogenesis and instead try to identify the genes responsible for its resistance to the extreme environment of the autoclave.

After taking its vital signs, Franziska pronounced it dead. Following a moment of silence, it was determined that the yeast media would only benefit from the additional nutrients.

We later determined that this was just one of thousands of flies that Sander is raising and training to act as kamikaze flies. He will soon release them in the labs of our competitors, hoping that at least one will find its way into the minimal media, thereby adding the essential nutrients that were intended to be dropped out.

Susan discovers eBay

With a barrage of broken equipment this week, Susan is in search of replacements. Chewie takes this opportunity to teach her the wonders of eBay. "You can get ANYTHING!" She cries, astounded.

We've shopped for intensifying screens ("I was outbid at the last second!"), power supplies, incubators, post-docs, centrifuges, pipetmen...

Our first purchase: a power supply, with a winning bid of $152.

Despite the unmitigated success of this experience, we haven't begun selling our own equipment yet. But it can't be long now... Sander is considering selling himself to the highest bidder. Keep your eyes out for him.

RNA Meeting Part 3: The Adventures of Chewie's Poster

Once the science was taken care of, we realized that Chewie's poster had disappeared. "I put it in my bag last night, I swear!" Chewie exclaimed. "But now it's gone!" We had to search all over the Banff Centre campus in search of the poster, and here's what we found:

Presenting The Adventures of Chewie's Poster...

Chewie's poster is confused about Banff "art".

Chewie's poster checks its email.

Chewie's poster uses the meditation tepee.

Take one: Chewie's poster.

Chewie's poster plays hide-and-seek.

Chewie's poster attends a talk.

Caution! Chewie's poster is dangerous when icy.

Chewie's poster uses the bear-proof trash can.

Chewie's poster eats at the banquet.

Chewie's poster presentation.

RNA Meeting Part 2: The Presentations

Last time we checked in, we showed you some lovely pictures of Banff, where the RNA meeting was held. Today we present our presentations. And some group shots.

Left to right: Chewie, Nick, a telescope, Sander, Kara, Ellie, and Franziska.

Franziska presented her poster on the second day of the meeting, all by herself. That allowed the rest of us to scope out the competition, as well as play lookout for any grizzly bears that might want to find out what her project is.

It was SO hot in those poster rooms, and SO loud that we were sweating and shouting. So it took lots of water to keep us happy. And we drank every one of these.

Nick was the first visitor to my poster, so I very dilligently explained my thought processes and the many reasons I chose that specific blue for the backdrop of my poster.

Chewie used a similar blue, and was very proud of it.

Kara also used that blue. There seems to be a trend emerging here.

Ellie (J. Steitz lab) also chose blue. Very interesting.

After talking so much science at the poster sessions, we were exhausted!

Kara found an alternate use for her poster.

Back to front: Erica, Chewie, Kara, and Franziska.

You must be on the edge of your seat, waiting for part 3. And let me tell you, it's a doozy!

RNA Meeting Part 1: The Setting

Banff is a ski resort town in the middle of the Canadian Rockies. It's basically a street with shops (selling mostly clothes and chocolate-- not bad!) surrounded by snow-capped mountains.

There were lots of mountains and lakes with really blue water. We haven't decided why the water is so blue (I think it has something to do with glacial till), but we've assigned that research to Bennett, who will report on that at lab meeting on Monday.

Kara liked this lake because it brought out the blue in her eyes and the pink in her coat.

Lake Louise.

One of the lessons Sander still needs to teach Chewie is, "Never go back to the scene of the crime." Here is proof that he had no regrets about what happened to that helpless little mother elk.

Chewie took these pictures. He was fascinated by the squirrel-like animals he insisted were called "pikas". Anyone with information regarding these creatures should contact Chewie.

Parts 2 and 3 to follow...

Grants galore

The lab gets in line early on the day that grants are being handed out. Sander earns a renewal of his Anna Fuller grant for his proposal studying the role of the iPod photo in recreational activities in the US Virgin Islands, and begins looking at airline tickets. Franziska earns a grant from the German Society of German Speakers, thanks to her unparalleled background in being German, and being able to speak German, albeit with a different accent than most Germans.

Lab talk marathon

Today begins the lab talk marathon. Starting with Kara's hall seminar today, the Baserga lab attempts to talk for one week without stopping for sleep or sustenance. Kara, Madhu, and Erica make valiant efforts, but soon realize that they could have stopped at four days, since the previous world record is for only 81 hours 15 minutes.

The Return of Jen

Jen announces that she misses the snow too much, and simply can't stand the darn California sunshine any longer, so she's moving back, and she wants her bench back from Franziska, pronto. Fortunately for Franziska, six days in Connecticut is all Jen needs to convince herself that warm weather isn't so bad, and she vacates the coveted bench shortly thereafter. Meanwhile, Kara is so alarmed by Jen's return that she starts looking for retirement homes in Florida. Erica flees a bit farther, to London, to share her results with the appropriate labs. Sander makes it the farthest, going to the Netherlands, where he is coerced into combing his hair and putting on a clean shirt in order to impress his extended family. Needless to say, he returns to the states days later.

RNA Meeting preparation

The Baserga lab prepares abstracts for their attendance at the RNA Meeting. In preparation for the trip, the focus of lab research shifts from rRNA processing to Banff area maps and the locations of the closest pubs and clothing stores in order to facilitate the assembly of the small subunit RNA meeting attendees.

New Year's Celebrations

More than three weeks after the New Year, most of the Baserga lab recovers from its collective hang over, only to find that Madhu is still in lab, soberly restreaking stock strains. Since everything seems to be in order, the rest of the lab goes back to TK's to celebrate Sander's birthday a few days early.

Happy Hour

Basergas

The lab hosted the Genetics Department happy hour. Our chosen theme was loosely based on the fact that 15 years ago today (January 15), the first episode of The Simpsons aired. We designed advertisements accordingly.

homer117

Susan no function beer well without.